Bro. Caleb?

Yesterday evening I was given the chance to deliver my very first "big church" sermon. I had a little over three weeks to prepare for it, and to my credit I did use the time wisely. Leading up to the Sunday evening I would wake up having dreamed that I really brought it and that I was a natural in the pulpit. I began to get a false sense of confidence. It downed on me that this isn't about me. I was horrified that I had given in to the temptation of greatness the Deceiver and placed in front of me. I immediately fell to my knees with deep sorrow I asked for forgiveness. I continued to prepare for the big day. As the time came closer now my nerves took over. I had spent hours studying and preparing what I was going to say. The Lord had really convicted me of some things and I was very excited to share them with my church family.

While driving to the church my wonderful wife could tell I was freaking out. She bluntly says to me "Caleb this isn't about you or your nerves." Woah!!! Again I was embarrassed, I had flipped the script from over confidence to non, effectively committing the same sin of "self." I looked at my best friend sitting next to me with a blank look as I realized what I had done. "Thank you," was all I could say. I got to the church, and after spending some time in prayer I went to get miced up. Then the time came, I stepped on stage as the choir was going to their seats then I see the head of the deacon board stepping towards me followed by the rest of the deacons. These men stood there in the pulpit with me, laid hands on me, and prayed over me in front of the whole church. As I am writing this remembering it still brings me to tears. They all hugged me, and the head of deacons whispers in my ear "go get em." At this point I am doing everything in my power not to break down weeping.

The deacons found there seats, and away I went. It was a bumpy road at places, and in others it was smooth. Needless to say it was a great learning experience. That aside, it dawns on me that all to often we are afraid of what could happen and get nervous, or we get over confident and fall prey to arrogance. Both take the attention off God and what He wants to accomplish. I had no reason to be scared because this church has done nothing but love on my and my wife since we came. I had been told countless times by countless people they were praying for me. Why was a scared? On the flip side, in the congregation there are retired pastors and men (even women) who are more spiritually mature then I am so what right did I ever have being over confident?

The Lord used last night in a two fold way.
1) He humbled me beyond recognition
2) He gave me the confidence to speak with boldness the truth that He has burdened me to preach.
I know this is nothing more then a rambling, I just wanted to share how the Lord can work on the person delivering the message to the people, while at the same time using the words He gives you to preach to work on the ones who are hearing it. Our God is great! Amen? AMEN!!!